Taking a Mental Health Day!

Before I begin this week’s post, I’d first like to thank all of you who commented on my last blog. The comments, advice, and encouragement were helpful and appreciated! Thanks! This week I had a meeting with my advisor. Her advice made everything better. She strongly advised me to stick with the class. She said that even if I got a “D” in the class my GPA would make up for it, and I wouldn’t have to take the class again. Things are looking up! My score on my second exam was an 80%, a “B.” I’m ecstatic! Going from an “F” on the first exam, to a “B” on the second exam wasn’t easy, but I did it! I’ve never fought so hard for a “B” in my life! I may just leave this class with a “C” for the semester!

Moving On….

High off my “B” in ISDS class, I decided to play hooky yesterday. School-wise, Wednesday’s are my light day so I felt safe skipping. The night before, I was up late finishing a ton of school work. The following morning, I actually woke up still tired! I needed a break. That’s when I realized I haven’t taken a mental health day this semester.

I’ve been taking mental health days since I was in Kindergarten. Every year my parents would let me play hooky from school for just one day. My mom called them Bonus Days. My dad called them Family Fun Days. My dad would stay home from work, and we would all spend the day together. Sometimes we would go shopping, sometimes we would go see a movie, sometimes we went bowling, sometimes if it was a Friday, we would leave town and take a road trip for the weekend.

Now that I’m older, I’ve renamed these days, Mental Health Days. Lord knows some days I feel like I’m losing my mind, that’s when these Mental Health days come in handy. Once a semester, I play hooky and spend the whole day doing whatever I want to do. Mental Health days are not to be confused with sick days. Mental Health days, at least for me, are days when I block everything else out of my mind, and do whatever I want to do. I don’t wear a watch, and I turn my cell-phone to silent. I ignore my diet, and I resist the urge to invite anyone along with me. I just go!

Yesterday, I stimulated the economy (by shopping), went to a movie, alone, and got a manicure. Sometime’s a day off is all it takes to lift my mood. I didn’t think about due dates, quizzes, grades, or anything else stressful, all day. Some may call it irresponsible, but for me, it was essential for my sanity to take a break from the madness. Things have been kind of dark these past few weeks, but my Mental Health Day, helped to clear away those clouds in my head.

Thanks for stopping by,
Kourtney

Just Keep Swimming. Just Keep SWIMMING!

“When life gets you down, you know whatcha got do? Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming.” -Dory from "Finding Nemo"

I've been thinking about Dory's little saying all day. I'm thinking about dropping a class. I'm ready to give up. I'm tired about worrying about it. I'm tired of thinking about it. I'm just plain ol' tired. I'm ready to wave my white flag and surrender. I'm not really the type to give up, but I am tired of treading water, and feeling overwhelmed and helpless. What do you do when you've done all you can?

I've pretty much worried myself into a stupor; I’m talking about a major funk. All of my frustrations stem from this class. It's not my teacher's fault. She's doing her job. But then again, it's not my fault either, I'm doing my best. Too bad it may not be enough. As you can see, I've thrown myself a huge pity party. You are all invited. :)

Dropping the class is no big deal. It's the giving up that’s bugging me. I’ve always considered myself a winner, and winners don't quit. But right about now, for me, quitting seems much better than failing. How dumb would I be to stay in the class because of my pride, only to get a D or an F on my transcript? Talk about stupid.....

Oh well, I think I'm going to wait until the absolute last minute (which is Friday, October 30th) to average my grades and make a decision. Until then I'll keep going to class, treading water, and listening to Dory in my head singing, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...."

It sounds so easy.

Thanks for stopping by,
Kourtney

EDIT: Slate Article

Leisure Reading, Long Weekend, and Procrastination, Oh My!

I am really looking forward to this 4-day weekend we have coming up! Mid-terms are on the horizon and my GPA could really use the extra study time. But before the Fall break arrives, I'm trying to get all of my other work done so that I won't have any excuses for not hitting the books. Hence this VERY early Blog (6) Post:

I have an issue with books. I'm addicted. I would estimate that I own about 300 books. A lot of my disposable income goes to Amazon.com's book department. I think it all stems from my parents. Growing up, if we went to a store and I picked up a doll I wanted, most of the time I was told to put it back. However, if I picked up a book, I was always allowed to get it. It was never spoken, but my parents always encouraged me to read. And to this day, if I come home with two huge bags full of books, all they do is smirk. Now, if I come home with two huge bags of clothes, that's another story. (I'm slightly compulsive about clothes as well...)

Not only do I love to read, but I also love to read a book in one sitting. You'll hardly ever see me dragging around the same book for more than 36 hours. I like to lie in my bed, switch my phones to silent, and read a whole book from cover to cover. Most of the time, if I begin reading around 8:00PM, depending on the length of the book, I'll finish around 3:00 AM. Then I turn over and sleep until noon. I am truly at peace when I’m able to read and sleep. Unfortunately, my school work keeps me pretty busy, so I'm only able to do this about one weekend a month. But this weekend, I have a hot date planned.... with a book.

My only issue will be choosing a companion for the evening. On a recent visit, my aunt was reading and enjoying, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and recommended it to me. I bought it, but I'm hesitant to read it. I am a true and loyal Jane Austen fan, so a mash-up of Elizabeth Bennett and a gang of zombies has me a little worried. Also, the cover of the book is really disturbing, which is why it is still in the Barnes and Noble bag I bought it in. Another contender is the novel, The Help. It sounds very promising. I've got 4 more contenders, that I bought recently, but for this weekend it's between these two.

School-wise, I hope to get a lot accomplished with this four-day weekend, but usually when I have an ample amount of time, procrastination sets in, and before I know it it's Sunday night and I'm rushing to get work done. Hopefully that won't be the case this time.

I hope everyone has a great vacation from school and enjoys the bonus time!

-Kourtney

Let Them Eat Cake.....or not?

My family is about to stage a revolt against me. It's been brewing for a while. I fear by the end of the month I will have been voted out of the family. What I have done to deserve such a fate you ask? Well, it started with a cake. Allow me to explain...

For the past 4 years my main hobby has been baking. I bake from scratch. I've even made my own butter for a pound cake recipe I developed. I love labor intensive activities, and let me tell you, there is nothing more labor intensive than making your own bread, from scratch, by hand!

However, now that I'm in school again, I just don't have time to devote to developing recipes and spending six hours in the kitchen anymore. My family is having a very hard time adjusting to not having homemade cinnamon rolls for Sunday breakfast, freshly baked yeast rolls with dinner, and four layer coconut crème cake for dessert (for this cake I actually milk the coconut.) They've had enough, and they are being very vocal with their displeasure.

I've tried to make peace by bringing store-bought breads and desserts home, but they aren't buying it. They want the real thing. I haven't baked since August 30th (I know the exact date because my family reminds me quite often.) I know my family is ecstatic that I'm in school, and are very proud of me. I know all of the pestering and complaining is all in good fun, and they would never want me to neglect my school work just to bake a cake for them. That's why I love them so much.

So, this weekend since my school work is kind of light, I'm going to bake until I run out of flour. I know they'll appreciate it. And that makes it worth all of the effort.

Thanks for Reading,
Kourtney

Highs and Lows of the Week

First things first, thanks to everyone for the well wishes, health-wise I'm feeling much better.

This week I had a major high and a major low, at least academically. Allow me to explain. In ENGL 226, I received a glowing review of my memoir essay. It was a very personal essay, and knowing that it was interesting to someone else made my day. However, the next morning in ISDS 350, our first exam was graded and returned. Our professor told us how our class grades averaged.

She said there were, 3 A's, 9 B's, 16 C's, 10 D's, and 11 F's. I was sitting in my seat, praying that I was included in the group of C's. For me, the test was brutal, I was sick, so I really didn't study as thoroughly as I normally would have. When she handed my Scranton to me, I looked down and saw not only an F, but a low F at that. My heart sank; I really thought I was going to have a panic attack. Fundamentally, I'm a good student. My exam grades are always a range of A's, B's, and the occasional C. My final grades on my transcript at the end of a semester are always A's and B's. I don't know how to handle a LOW F. I've been trying to calculate if there are enough points left in the semester for me to be able to finish this class with at least a C. If not, I'll have to drop it. I'm beyond frustrated.

So, as you can see, my week had a very high peek as well as a very low valley. However, I’m always mindful to be positive and grateful, so I'd also like to say that even though I don't know my professor very well, she seems like a very kind person. She has expressed that she is willing to talk with and help those of us who need it. Therefore, I plan to speak with her privately about my exam, and ask for her advice about whether I should cut my losses and drop, or if there is a chance that I can still complete her class successfully.

I've decided not to think about my F anymore this weekend. Fall is my favorite time of year, so I am anxious to start enjoying it. My family and I are going to the Red River Revel tomorrow (a family tradition), and I don't want to be a party pooper. So tomorrow (Saturday) I'll be eating muffaletta pizza , funnel cake, beer battered shrimp on a stick, and dancing to zydeco music not giving ISDS or my F a second thought.......hopefully!

I was just wondering......when faced with the good and the bad of a situation, why is it so easy to focus on the bad? My high has been completely clouded by my low. It's very frustrating.

Thanks for Reading,
Kourtney Washington